One thing I've learned after decades of working for myself, mostly from home, is that achieving any kind of real work-life balance isn't just a decision. It's a skill. And it takes effort. A lot of it.
In the early years, you work constantly because you have to. You're trying to build something. Make money. Keep the lights on and feed the family. Every minute matters, and time off feels like time wasted. But then as the business becomes more stable, something else happens. You realize you actually love the work. You enjoy it. For me it's recording videos, building databases, tweaking the website, answering student emails. It stops feeling like work... and that's when balance gets even harder.
Right now, I'm lucky. I've got a good base of subscribers and I don't have to panic over next month's electric bill. But I still find it hard to walk away from my desk because I want to keep working. And that's the trap. The blessing and the curse of being self-employed. You can set your own hours, take a day off whenever you want, but if you don't have the discipline to actually take that time off, you'll burn out.
Especially when you've got a family. Or even if you don't. It's not healthy to spend 100 percent of your time glued to a screen. Get outside. Talk to humans. Unplug a little. Go to a Star Trek convention. Even if it's just long enough to remember how weird people are in real life.
I brought my laptop in case of emergencies, but never even took it out of the bag. Believe me... the temptation was there. (I still managed to poke my nose into the Forums a bit while... taking care of business.)
I just took an extended weekend off to spend time with my wife. We got a nice AirBNB beach house up the coast, enjoyed the sand (well, she enjoys the sand - I hate getting sand everywhere, but I do it for her). We floated in the pool for hours. Went out and had a few nice meals. And even though we live in SW Florida and have most of this at home (pool, sunshine, etc.) it was still nice to unplug for a few days and just spend time with each other.
The work/home balance is hard to maintain, especially when you're self-employed. It's also true in many other areas of life. Take fitness, for example. I've gone weeks without a rest day because I was so locked into the routine. But your body needs that recovery. You're not growing stronger while you're lifting weights. You're growing stronger while resting. Now I force myself to take a day off every four or five days, even when I feel like pushing through.
And the same thing goes for dieting. If you're cutting calories to lose weight and you never give yourself a break, your body eventually panics and slows everything down. You have to throw in a cheat meal now and then, not because you crave it, but because your body needs the signal that it's safe. That it's not starving. That it's okay to keep the engine running.
Balance is never automatic. It takes discipline. You have to draw those lines for yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you... especially if you're self-employed.
I remember back when I was still doing consulting work, I'd take on a project that I'd quote the customer three weeks for completion... and I'd finish it in three days. Barely slept. Powered by coffee and Mountain Dew. It worked... back then. But that kind of schedule catches up to you. You can handle it now and then when you're 25. It's a lot harder to pull off when you're 50. Trust me.
So now I try to set better boundaries. Not perfect ones, but better. Certain hours. Certain days. I still break the rules sometimes, but at least I know when I'm doing it. And I know when it's time to shut it down, go outside, and touch grass. Nevermind that. I live in SW Florida. The grass feels like knives made out of cardboard. Touch the pool water.
Balance doesn't just happen. You have to work for it.
LLAP/RR
P.S. But now I'm back, feeling recharged, and have no plans for the next two weeks... so game on! :)
Great advice! I will tack on-- for those with kids, giving them more time will be paid back with dividends. What do you hear every parent with grown kids say? "It goes by so fast." It does, even though it didn't at the time...
I read the entire Harry Potter series to my kids. We sat as a family and eagerly dove into each new book. Even when my kids reached a point where they could read on their own, they wanted me to read it to them. Recently, my 29 y/o son told me that when he reads a book, he hears it in my voice. That's something money can't buy.
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