Well, I survived FerengiCon 2025. Barely. I made it back to my office with my dignity mostly intact and, against all odds, the same number of shirts I left with. I cant say the same about my wallet. I'm pretty sure it lost three pounds without even doing cardio.
My key takeaways? First, the Ferengi idea of a breakout session is literally a breakout session. As in, you have to buy your way out of the room. Second, I learned that if you hesitate even half a second before answering a question, a Ferengi will assume you're negotiating and raise the price. Third, their session on customer retention was basically: never let them leave until they've bought something else. I felt like I was getting a refresher on gym membership contracts.
On the plus side, I did come home with a renewed appreciation for human business ethics, my own personal financial boundaries, and chairs that I don't have to rent from myself. So I'm back, I'm rested, and I'm probably not attending next year. I need at least twelve months for my bank account to stop whimpering.
Alright, so funny story. I told GPT to clean me up a little bit, make me look a little thinner, clean-shaven, maybe a little bit younger, and put me in a Starfleet uniform. It did okay, but it didn't get the face perfect, so I took the picture and ran it through my face swap program. The face swap program doesn't always guarantee that you're going to get the face you want swapped, so it swapped my face on one of the Ferengi. See if you can figure out which one...
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