One thing I've learned over the years, especially from programming, is that sometimes the best fix is to walk away. You can be staring at a bug for hours, banging your head on the keyboard, angry at the computer, convinced the computer is just as angry at you. You're clicking, compiling, muttering things that would make a Klingon blush, and maybe you've thrown one too many monitors out the window. Then you finally give up, go to bed, and in the morning you sit down with fresh eyes and solve it in five minutes. It was something stupid and/or simple. It's almost always something simple.
That same principle carries over into learning. When you're trying to absorb something new, your brain can hit a wall. You read the same paragraph, or watch the same video, ten times and it just won't stick. That's why cramming right before a test rarely works. When you study the night before and then sleep on it, your brain gets time to process and organize the information. You wake up and suddenly it makes more sense. It's like your subconscious spent the night defragging your mental hard drive.
Which brings me to personal life. There's that old saying: never go to bed angry. I disagree. Late night arguments are usually the dumbest ones. You're tired, you're cranky, maybe you've had a cocktail or two, and now you're debating something that won't matter in 12 hours. In those moments, pushing through just makes it worse. Sometimes the smartest move is to go to your corners, and sleep on it.
Because clearer heads really do prevail in the morning. You wake up, think about what you were upset over, and realize it wasn't that big of a deal. The emotional heat is gone. Perspective returns. Whether it's code, coursework, or conflict, stepping away and letting your brain reset can be the difference between frustration and clarity. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is shut everything down for the night and reboot in the morning.
Unfortunately, not everyone wakes up in the morning.
John Davy
@Reply 6 months ago
Hi Rick, Usually I agree with you but I believe every time one has an argument with a spouse, it leaves scars. You may shake it off but the spouse might be hurt more that you realize (the scar). It is best not to create scars for they build up over time. John
Thomas Gonder
@Reply 6 months ago
Lisa How many went unknowingly to sleep without your Mek'leth in their back?
Lisa Snider
@Reply 6 months ago
I lost my husband in 2013. When you wake up and someone is gone... even though we knew the cancer would take him soon... you are never ready.
I guess the point of my article is that I prefer to let things cool down and then finish the discussion in the morning when you're both a little more level-headed, well-rested, and ready to be rational and civil. Sometimes, being up late, everyone's tired, cranky. It's just not productive, but I fully understand what you're saying.
Michael Olgren
@Reply 6 months ago
John and Richard you both can be right. Different methods work for different people. It is an interesting question- when does a disagreement become an argument?
Matt Hall
@Reply 6 months ago
To me, when he says a thing is pretty and she says it is ugly, that is a disagreement. The moment he says, "How can you think that is ugly?", it becomes an argument. At that point, they are no longer talking about the visual appeal of the thing. The conversation shifted to her capacity to evaluate the visual appeal of the thing.
Thomas Gonder
@Reply 6 months ago
Lisa I'm sorry to hear about your loss too. My comment was meant to be humorous, of course with no knowledge of your personal experience or the intent of your original message. Rather, my comment was more related to the topic of which technique is best given Richard's tendency to highlight Star Trek into every captain's log entry. (I confess, I had to Google Klingon weapons for my previous comment.)
Thomas Gonder
@Reply 6 months ago
John Of course it's best not to have arguments, but they happen. The question becomes, do you put a Band-Aid on it and let it rest until the morning? Or do you keep scratching and risk making it worse (or better)? Always being the most logical one in an argument, I prefer to get it over with, but all of my partners have failed to recognize my infallible "Spock" logical nature. Sigh.
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